Save Your Breath!

Save Your Breath sometimes. Think of how precious your breath is! Feel the sensation of taking it!

For what shall you use this precious breath? Save your breath for saying the warm and loving things your family and friends long to hear. Use it for engaging oratory aimed at saving the world and your community!

You literally save your breath by preserving and planting trees! … Stopping air pollution! By quitting smoking!

Some breath, though, is wasted. We can’t help that. However, we can save it in certain rote instances. One place that comes to mind is the constant repetition of certain lines used to train children.

Save-Your-Breath, the company, evolved from my needing help as a parent and wanting to help other parents and caregivers to also “save their breath”. Having to repeat the same training lines over and over and over again for 10+ years is a universal problem! I’ve developed a CD and a Phone App to help save some of this wasted breath!

These products were created because I saw the necessity to address, in the ‘real’ world, the need for parents to catch a break periodically in the process of raising their children. Raising children is no easy task and requires many tools that run the gamut from tight to relaxed discipline. Let’s jump to a little sanity.

Besides, for kids, part of the fun of getting your attention is to have you standing there saying this stuff repeatedly. It’s a child’s power play, sometimes conscious, most times not. Are you conscious? People listen to music and business recordings over and over again to learn, to enjoy. This is no different. Put the Save Your Breath CD in earshot of the kid and go have a cup of chamomile tea.

Order the Save Your Breath CD from Amazon.com. Here is the link= https:www.createspace.com/1817908. This CD is a re-release of the original CD: Harper: “I’ll Say It Again”. Order now and receive a FREE copy of the ORIGINAL Harper CD (while they last). Just fill in your email address, shipping address and Amazon order confirmation number here and we’ll get it right out to you. Your information will not be sold or shared.

Take my advice on child discipline. Save your breath sometimes.

This video inspired by Nathalie Villeneuve of ‘Nathalie & Hugh.com, Health, Wealth & Happiness Consultants’ is about Multitasking and Procrastination.  These two items are at the opposite ends of the ‘get it done’ spectrum.

My recent video named ‘Do It now’ addresses procrastination at it’s core.  Simply stated, if you train you kids to respond to your requests in the moment you issue it, after many years of this, procrastination is not something they will be inclined to do a lot in their adult lives and hence will be more successful in general.

Multitasking is at the opposite end of the activity spectrum but the results can be the same as procrastination or worse because it is a detriment, inefficient and a health hazard.  Our brains can do only one thing 100% or otherwise at a time.  To have it do more is stressful and leads to mediocre performances, accidents and health issues.  Let’s teach our kids to focus on one task at a time… into their genius.

Training kids to multitask is something that has been proven to be, not only inefficient, but also a detriment to our health.  In the past and for quite some long time multitasking has been regarded as THE thing to be able do.  It seems to make sense that if you can do one thing in a certain period of time then doing two or three things in that same period of time is even better!

Photo credit: jdurham from morguefile.com

I specifically remember one (or more) of the bosses and managers I’ve had over time say that employees who can multitask are the the most desirable.  I could literally feel myself and the other employees in the room ‘gear ourselves up’ to impress the boss.  This kind of thing was and probably still is a deciding factor when it is time to lay people off…who multitasks the best…who is willing to do more than one job…who handles the stress of all that the best….?

Well, I’m here to tell ya’ that we can only do ONE thing at a time well.  The only time multitasking works and is not stress-inducing is when there is a machine doing the second and third tasks.  Our conscious attention is singular and pointed.  God’s is omnipresent.  We attempt to multitask because our minds are inherently inclined to stress us out.  We can only do ONE thing at a time well.

When we are teaching our kids, we often tell them to FOCUS on tasks to do them well.  Why do we have them do that?  The reason is because we know that that is the BEST way for them to excel in whatever it is that they are endeavoring.  That goes for us as well.  The fact that we are grown up does not mean that we can handle multiple distractions (like it’s a muscle) and do any one of them 100%.  Our strength in adulthood in FOCUS is the LASER SHARPNESS with which we can FOCUS on any task or challenge.  THAT is the muscle we are to develop in our kids.  From there, The Theory of Relativity is born, Olympic Metals are won, Beautiful Books of Poetry are written…

So, if you’re pressing your kid to multitask, CUT IT OUT!  You’re setting them up for unnecessary stress responses to tasks they would otherwise enjoy.

What’s your take on this aspect of training kids?

“Teenagers have to live into a bad rap”, says Dr. Beth Halpert, ‘Americas’s Teenologist’.  She doesn’t buy into all of the negative labeling of teens and she tells them so.  All of the information that I am giving here is basically my notes from a webinar she conducted recently.

She asks, “If you make yourself(parents) right in the negative, are you willing to be wrong?”  She’s speaking here of the fact that we humans love to be ‘right’ all the time, especially parents.  If you are making yourself right about negative views of teenagers or your teen, are you willing to be wrong?

“Own your story, you can transform it.  What is your prescription for change?  Your prescription for them(your teen), is your prescription for yourself!  You can only be triggered by your own triggers! ‘If you spot it, you got it.’ If you see it in them, you’ve got it in you.”  They are our mirrors, and we theirs.

On communicating together, “Give yourself the prescription by asking for what you want.  Stop playing the blame game, the win/lose game.  What new action and commitment are you willing to make to yourself?  Talk adult to adult with them.”

We parents need to give ourselves permission to enjoy life in an easy way, the easy way we begrudge our teens for having.  Chill out.  “What energies ignite you and light you up in life?  Visualize those things, turn them UP.  Take permission to brag on your teen even if it’s an argument, say, “My teen has a voice!!!”  “If you look for purple, you’ll find purple.  Look for what you want to find.  Create the positive list you want to live into.

“Create your own rules to win:
1) No one gets to be wrong.  You are 100% responsible for your behavior (parent and teen), etc.
2) Teen being bullied?  Tell them ‘You don’t have to believe the bully! You get your power back by not choosing to give them(bullies) power’.  Point out that everyone has been bullied.  Defy those negative beliefs.
3) Have one rule that wins your day EVERY day.  Make it easy, a slam dunk, like ‘walking the dog’ or ‘blinking 5 times’.   Then 4) Celebrate your win, with a cheer and a little dance.”

“Control that little voice in your head.  If you feed the ‘fear’ dog, it will get bigger and bigger.  Which dog are you going to feed?”

On Teen suicide, “They need to know they’re not alone.  They need to know others have gone through the same things and survived.  If they need to cry, give them permission to cry for days and days to get it out.”

Dr. Beth can be reached at 510-507-9198, Tweet @DrBethCP.

What do you think of talking to teens as if they are adults?

What is the importance of having your kids ‘do it now’ when you ask them to so something?

Doing it now trains them to respond in the moment.  Responding in the moment sets them up for success in their eventual academic and professional endeavors.
They’ be auto-responsive to deadlines set for educational and professional assignments.  They’ll be auto-responsive to the needs of their loved ones.

Ex. “Do I get a job now or manana?”, “Do I get up for work now or hit the snooze button 4 times?”, “Do I pay my bills now or wait past the last minute?”

There are serious repercussions to “I’ll do it later” when important issues are at stake.  What do you think about this?