In Aug 2011 I did a blog post entitled “Have a Thorough Lover Relationship with Money” or some such.  Doing so requires ‘Attention to detail’ to produce ‘maximum satisfaction’.
Feeling good at all times is the key, centered in full loving attentive appreciation of your every moment.  We transform our lives and the lives of our children and families in the process.

What is your level of ability to switch from a bad feeling to feeling good?

Electricity runs through our bodies in very subtle ways…just enough to motivate but keep from killing us.  We exercise this electric power in various degrees all of the time.  It is obviously a birthright and natural resource many of us tend to ignore.  We don’t know our own ‘strength’, so to speak.

Photo credit: sideshowmom from morguefile.com

I want us to think about it for just a minute here because if we have a different perspective on the kind of power we wield, perhaps we can manage to be more creative in the kinds of ways we address our issues with children.  Our brains basically work via electrical impulses.  The brain itself is a large receiver and disseminator of messages from On High.  It follows then that we could actually focus into that Power-laden Communication to pull in the answers to the particularly vexing questions we have in reference to the issues we’re having with our child!

Think for a moment…tons of info on the internet from various experts…books on end on the subject…yet, you need something more specific to your unique situation.  Well, tap into your very electric power.  Meditation is the means by which we are able to create changes in the direction we seek.  Flex your brain power in ways you have not before.

There are even instructions on the various types of meditation…where?…on the internet, in books,… I could even tell you.  Recognize the powerful entities that we are.  Our lives are not accidents!  We have beamed every moment into being.  Let’s beam in something new.

Are you in touch with the wattage of your electric power?

What I do in meditation:

1) Sit or lie in comfortable straight-back position.
2) Put in earplugs if needed to block out noise.
3) Relax every cell in body.
4) Close eyes, breathe deeply 5 times confirming every cell is relaxed.
5) Go to silence. (This may take 1 minute or many.  The point is to get there and hang
out as long as I can in the silence, 1 minute to 60.  Like a muscle, the more I do it
the longer I can hang out.)

When we neglect doing what brings us Joy, we find ourselves listless and unhappy.  The unhappiness gets louder and louder.  That’s when you know whole chunks of Joy are missing.

It’s amazing that many of us walk around with a large chunk of solid Joy missing.  Vicki Dello Joio defines it best in her ‘Got Joy’ video on 3/25/2012.  She describes it as a limitless spring.

It feels to me like a solid chunk of cheese that I need to keep from feeling empty and lethargic.  My solution is, of course, meditation, and the full expression of art in our lives..painting, singing, playing music, dancing…

What are you doing to pump vigorously from your wellspring of Joy?

Help with homework can come in many different forms.  When we are speaking of children getting help with their homework, we are usually talking about the parent sitting in to help them or a tutor of some sort helping them out.  Then there is also the ‘getting them to even BEGIN and/or COMPLETE doing their homework’ effort that takes place quite a lot.

This a most fun time for parents and children alike.  Often there is begging, whining and threatening on the parts of the parents AND the kids!  There is no end of avoidance and subterfuge.  This is where the creation of my Save Your Breath App for Android comes in.  With teens especially, the mere threat of blocking the service to their phones if they don’t comply with tasks (such as homework) is enough to gain full cooperation and then some.  Of course, you have your incorrigibles who are ‘rebels without a cause’ but for the most part, it’s a pretty handy item to have around.

Before the App was created and once my Son graduated from high school, I sort of let the CD promotion fall by the wayside.  I figured my work was done.  I’d helped myself and  some other parents out with the CD and I could ‘retire’, so to speak.  Then one day a couple of years later, as I was sitting and taking a break from shopping at the mall, I witnessed something that rekindled the desire to help parents out.  As I sat there, I witnessed a woman about 5’5″ be bullied by her son to pick him up and carry him!  He was almost as tall as she was!  And do you know what she did?  SHE PICKED HIM UP AND CARRIED HIM!!!!  I was floored.

Now, I’m not saying that using my CD or App will handle all things in every moment but I am saying that we need to think in terms of TOOLS to help us weather the storms of parenthood.  Technological tools, psychological tools, spiritual tools and on and on…  We need to bring a certain relaxed brilliance to the task.  I endeavor to help you out with that.

How do you bring an element of finesse to child discipline?

What would you do if a child deliberately provoked you?  …and You KNOW they’re doing it deliberately?
Would you fly off the handle?  What if it’s not a deliberate  thing they’re doing?
How do you react?
-compassionate?
-Instructive

Children get a kick out of getting a rise out of their parents.  Why is that?  Well, engagement, on any level, is a sign of life.  New humans LOVE engagement with their parents.  If positive attention is not happening for them, negative attention will do just fine.  Child behavior is largely about recognition and getting our attention so that we can fill a need that they have that they often cannot name.  The tricky part is having parents discipline THEMSELVES in ways that are the most nourishing for their little bio-identical replicas.

When we parents understand that the buttons our children are pushing are OUR buttons and WE are the ones responsible for the disarming of them (the buttons), the whole dynamic in the engagement tone with our children shifts.  Whether we are whispering sweets nothings to them or explaining the law of the house, we then stand (with new insight) in an adult, mature power that inspires cooperation and respect.  (They already love us.)  The button generator is OUR childhood.

Here now is a call for us all to examine our ‘buttons’.  I’ve been taking a good look at myself and my ‘buttons’ and, I tell ya’, I was once a frickin’ computer keyboard of buttons, a veritable 20-story elevator panel of buttons!  Just let me be a little too tired to take responsibility for my reactions and my son’s ears would singe! …for starters.  Much better these days, thank you, but clearly…overwrought for nought.  ALWAYS worked out better for me to engage in calm adult maturity.

How about you?  Have you looked at self assessment?

Chat up line of conversation that has been swirling about for as long as violent video games have existed:  The harm they do to the growing minds of children.  Repetition of good activities yields good results.  Repetition of violent activities yields confrontation, belligerence, aggressiveness, etc. per The Palo Alto Medical Foundation (and me).

Let’s see to it that our children are repeating activities that are good for them.  New Parenting methods for this digital age helps but I say we go back to old school one-on-one, in-your-face, parenting love.  One thing that nourishes whatever that activity is is parents playing WITH them.  This ‘play’ should be physical and outside whenever possible.  In winter; board games, cards, puzzles, music, art or building projects do everyone’s mind good!

I know.  There’s the energy factor to consider for the parents.  Working all day, chores and dinner in the  evening…Hey!…How about enlisting/teaching the offspring to help with these things.  Sure, it requires more emergy up front but over time, they develop into real helpers that SAVE you energy when YOU are older and leaking age-related energy!

Sharing my passion for art paid off and actually surprised me when my Son and I participated in a street painting festival in San Rafael when he was a tyke.  He created a far more interesting work of art than mine that weekend.  I was so proud, impressed and bonded in yet another way.

What do you do to actively play with your children?  Share with me some of your child engagement ideas.

Constant repetition of good activities yields good results.

Constant repetition of violent activities yields bad results.

Any questions?

“Constant repetition carries conviction” – Robert Collier

Yeah I know it does but must parents actually say it 10,000 times themselves?
When the washing machine was invented, we stopped washing most of our clothing by hand.
When the dishwasher was invented, we stopped washing most of our dishes by hand.
When the Victrola was invented, we could hear music without being at the concert.

Why, with ALL that we parents MUST do, can’t we catch a break and have the CD or MP3 say it sometimes?  Why not have an App that Saves Your Breath?  You follow?